Give me a decent night’s sleep, and I think I’m as happy these days as I’ve pretty much ever been–excepting moments of pure euphoria involving, I don’t know, blue skies and puppies anyway. Life is good.
The sweet, sleepy, crazy-making newborn stage is over for keeps. Ollie has graduated to Butterball status, and we’re a real deal family of four with routines and crap. Iris has started sleeping in until 7 most days. Oliver has a nap after breakfast that I can count on, and Iris and I do art time and get a little one-on-one play in. After lunch we watch a cartoon in bed, where Iris falls asleep for her still-luxuriously long afternoon nap. And then I paint or read a little, even snuggle in next to the kids if I’m short on sleep and Ollie deigns to nap in tandem. It doesn’t happen often, but I have become a shamelessly opportunistic napper. And there is something incredibly sweet about having a little dreamer pressed against each side, two pacifiers bobbing in rhythm.
Don’t get me wrong. We have our stuff. We sit on nursery floors in the dark for HOURS and take things for granted and lose patience and work too much and say testy things to each other now and then. We do.
But I’m happy.
I feel like this part of my life–the family, parenting part–is starting to come together, and when it goes even sort of well it gives me a huge amount of satisfaction. I like being a mom. It’s a good fit for me.
And it’s been easier this time to be kind to myself. I know where to spend my stray minutes to get the best emotional return, and I feel no guilt about doodling in my sketchbook or waxing my eyebrows instead of scrubbing the toilet these days.
Speaking of doodling, the 52 project is chuffling along. It’s been a week of sketches and tiny, tentative watercolors.
I am encouraged by little things. The shading on the purple balloon looks good to me. The buttery highlights in the trees. My sketching of simple, cartoony shapes is getting better. I learn stuff every time I put pen or pencil or brush to paper… Even if it’s that I totally just messed up my picture.
It’s been fun.