27/365: A Little Shop-Shop

Big girl on her first ride in a shopping cart

Aaaaaaaaaaand I missed another weekend. Queso whatever.

On a totally unrelated note: I’m now going to complain about all the links [this one cartoon] people [this one person] keep posting in my Facebook feed [ok, it was just this one time] about natural motherhood. I’m sure it totally depends on who your Facebook friends are, and there are probably lots of people equally annoyed about postings that claim children should be in school from birth and raised on puree of chemical bath, but SERIOUSLY.

I’m pretty sure the vast majority of us are doing the best we can.

And the last thing I want to see when I stop by Facebook in my 2 minute haze of “me time” (haha) is some cartoon showing those poor dear disposable diapering mothers who have to rush out into snowstorms to buy diapers while the clever cloth diapering mommas play blissful games with their cherubic infants to the hum of cloth diapers tumbling in the dryer.

Ok. Although cloth diapers aren’t for me this time around the baby block, I think it’s great for the environment that so many people are getting into cloth diapering. So you go, green mommas.

But seriously. You’ve got to quit with the ignorant cartoons.

Because here’s the thing: although we all make mistakes, I’m actually not an idiot. I have yet to run out of diapers even once, and therefore I have never driven in a snowstorm or rainstorm or really any kind of storm in order to buy them. It’s called being marginally organized, and last time I checked that quality didn’t fall on either side of the diaper debate. You don’t have to believe everyone else is an idiot in order to feel good about your choices.

Which reminds me of a conversation I had recently with an acquaintance about how she was going to have a home birth because hospitals are profit-oriented, pushy places and the system is evil. Soon after, I turned the conversation to home schooling—I’m not really a home birth type but I am interested in home education, and I figured it would be a topic of mutual interest.

Nope. She’s not at all interested in homeschooling. Her daughter would be bored. She wouldn’t know what to do with her at home all day. Why bother?

So to recap: righteous indignation about the medical system her daughter will experience for 2-4 days; total faith in the educational system her daughter will experience for 12 years.

The brilliant thing about life is that there aren’t teams and you don’t have to pick one. We’re all working with different situations and personalities, trying to juggle different responsibilities and different hierarchies of values. The mom I met is probably doing exactly the right thing for herself and her family—I have it on good authority that home birth is a great thing for some families, and she certainly knows better than I do what kind of education is going to be the best fit for her family… so I’m down with people making solid choices for their families…

But I still haven’t found a compelling reason to get all righteous-in-your-grill about it.

And it would be SO NICE if we stuck to that general principle Jesus brought up once, you know, that one about choosing your standards carefully because you will ultimately be judged by them. My standards these days are pretty simple: if you love your kids and are doing the best you can then you can have a high five from me.

Parenthood is hard enough. Let’s all be on the same team.


3 thoughts on “27/365: A Little Shop-Shop

  1. Thanks for the reminder. I realized today that I still have prejudice/animosity against a certain genre of mommies even though in theory I respect their choice. Also, I had forgotten how much I love your writing. Thanks for sharing your perspective.

  2. What?! The “natural” mother put her diapers in the DRYER? Where was her clothes line??? I know there was a cartoon snow storm going on, but let’s be dedicated, people. I mean, seriously, what’s next? Non-organic laundry soap?

    But yes, REALLY striving for the “if you love your kids and are doing your best, you get high fives” principle.

  3. You get a high fives from me. Loving and trying your hardest is as good as it gets, I think, and it’s enough for Jesus, even if it isn’t enough for others sometimes.

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