Songs of Love and Poop

Pretty much anything Beyonce does I can do. Have a cute baby? Check. Marry a creative genius? For sure. Born September 4th? I was born the THIRD.

So it should come as no great surprise that I’m also about to drop an album, inspired by the transformative journey of motherhood.

Most of them are covers.

All of them are about poop.

You’ll have to wait for the full track list, but just to whet the appetite I’ll tell you about my favorites. We open with a brassy rendition of The Exciter’s 1960s hit “Scrub It (I Know Something about Poop).” This song touches on the complexities of laundry when poop is involved (“if you want it to be/ nice and white again/ make you want to wear/ here’s the thing to do/ scrub it like/ you never gonna stop it”).

The second track is a tribute to early 90s rap with “Baby Got Poop.” This update retains all of Sir Mix-a-Lot’s original ohs and uhs with the additional sound of diapers being unsnapped. The opener really does say it all: “I like big diapers and I cannot lie.”

You other mothers can’t deny, non?

You’ll have to pre-order to get a sneak at the rest of the album, and while I don’t like to brag, I might just tell you that Iris seems to enjoy my singing quite a lot. I get the best smiles out of her on the changing table these days, huge gummy grins of overwhelming cuteness. Naturally I take this as a high compliment to my musical powers and redouble my creative output (she has also redoubled her output, but that’s another story).

But just so you don’t think we’re stuck in the past or overly upbeat, my very favorite number is actually a Coldplay cover, the intriguingly-titled “Yellow.”

This haunting lullaby follows the singer’s angst (“and so you took your bum/ oh what a thing to have done/ it was all yellow”) over the inevitabilities of life and the sacrifices love entails (“for you I milk myself dry”), eventually ending with the redemptive (“you know I love you so much”).

Iris likes it.

Though I imagine her reaction will be a bit different when she actually starts getting the lyrics.


5 thoughts on “Songs of Love and Poop

  1. We make up covers about our beagle Lily. I expect that should we ever have a child, we will follow your lead and make up songs not only about our baby, but her poop as well. Well done you!

  2. Wish I knew the songs so I could sing along, but I get the gist and love it! Diaper days don’t last…got a song about that…maybe could be in there somewhere with a reprise at the end…
    Your picture of the wide-eyed Iris is just great! I’m coming right over this mintue! Be there in a couple of hours! 🙂

  3. LOL. That is so awesome. Especially that picture of Iris at the end. I remember just a couple of months ago when a particular little girl, who shall remain nameless, had an accident at a restaurant, and I was standing out in the parking lot doing the best I could with baby wipes and what spare clothes I could find in the diaper bag. A jolly song about potty was just the thing. For both of us. My rueful grit and her pitiful embarrassment both melted by the end. It goes to the tune of “You are My Sunshine,” but excep the only version of this song that I really know was a political satire featuring Reagan and Gorbachev, but anyway, here’s one verse.

    My name is Mommy, I clean up potty
    I clean up potty all day long
    I wipe off bottoms and rinse out panties
    Hear my happy potty song

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