This is an Iris classic, something I’ve been trying to snap for weeks. Her preferred method for falling asleep is to be carried around, and once asleep she prefers the movements to remain gentle and reassuring. Any sudden motions or changes in direction and up goes her hand in sound asleep protest.
I walked her to sleep in the BabyBjorn about half an hour ago, chatting on the phone with the M (recently returned from Hawaii and my brother’s family). After setting up the coffee table with my book (The Opposite of Fate by Amy Tan; excellent), my iPod, the laptop, my notebook, a pacifier, nursing paraphernalia, refilled water bottle, and TWO remotes I eased her out of the carrier onto my lap as carefully as I could.
She stayed asleep, but the hand popped up all the same, as if to say so far I will allow, but do not tempt me by persisting in these ungodly motions.
Apparently she is taking the whole “named after a goddess” thing a bit more seriously than I intended, or possibly my exhaustion is so acute I begin to see her as being godlike in her ability to give or withhold the one thing I most desire. Who really knows. I do know that on bad nights I now reach that interesting pitch of stress where you begin to concoct elaborate fantasies of your own demise—mostly involving everybody else feeling SORRY.
But I regress.
(For those of you who might genuinely be concerned about my welfare, please know the most self-harming behavior I’ve exhibited so far was the night I noticed myself literally pulling out small strands of hair while watching Iris scream. Oops. Then again, if I could refocus that energy on my eyebrows or legs, it wouldn’t be all bad. Stress relief AND personal grooming. I feel like I would be betraying my new mommy status to turn down such an appealing twofer).
The trouble is she’s so dang adorable it’s impossible to work up a really serious depression. And now she’s learning to SMILE so instead of enjoying the few moments where she’s actually happy to sit by herself in her pack’n’play I spend the whole time leaning over the edge grinning and cooing like a maniac trying to get her to crinkle up. SO CUTE.
I’m not sure what my point was.
The quality of my blogging—certainly the organizational skills of my posts—seems to be a bit lacking lately. Certainly I haven’t been very good about theses or takeaways, so for those of you looking for such things in your reading material, here you go:
TAKEAWAY: You should read Amy Tan.
Happy Wednesday, everybody.