Dear World

 Please stop airbrushing the identifying features out of people’s faces. You make even your most loyal customers feel squinty and doubtful. I seriously had to read all the accompanying type in order to figure out who this person was… and I like Amy Adams.

But that’s not Amy Adams. That’s Robo Adams.

A vaguely familiar mashup of models and aspiring country singers.

Also, as a side note, you really don’t want to draw any more attention to your verbage than you have to because I’m pretty sure most forms of sentient life will start laughing as soon as they actually read a headline like, “EAT, DRINK and DON’T GAIN A POUND THIS SEASON!”

Apparently food only comes now in an all or nothing model? Thanks for the heads up.

Sigh.

Rant finished.

Now to curl up and look at all the pretty clothes and pretend I’ll actually be small enough to fit into normal ones next summer after I, like most good cellular life forms, divide.

Thanks.

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